I do plan on dumping him, but I don't know how. I think I am still with him because I think if my test comes back positive for genital herpes he is the only guy who will ever want me if he did in fact give it to me or I have to stay with him because I may have given it to him. Somedays I feel like I can hand the idea of having herpes for the rest of my life but other days I am not so sure. I am so afraid. Its funny I use to say I never wanted to get married and have kids, but this situation has made me realize how much I want those things and now I may never get the chance. I guess thats life. Funny, as I write this I remember the first time I had sex with him he told me he used a condom but I don't think he did. I am such an idiot. I pray my blood test comes back negative. If it comes back positive life for me will be over.
Genital herpes is contracted through sexual activity, and may show symptoms around the genital area (anus, buttocks, thigh, penis, vulva, etc.). Additionally, people with HIV can experience significantly worse symptoms of herpes.  See a doctor if your partner has herpes, or if you notice any unusual sores on your body.  How do you know if you have herpes?  Read more in our Diagnosing Herpes section here.  
Some people experience negative feelings related to the condition following diagnosis, in particular if they have acquired the genital form of the disease. Feelings can include depression, fear of rejection, feelings of isolation, fear of being found out, and self-destructive feelings.[108] Herpes support groups have been formed in the United States and the UK, providing information about herpes and running message forums and dating websites for sufferers. People with the herpes virus are often hesitant to divulge to other people, including friends and family, that they are infected. This is especially true of new or potential sexual partners whom they consider casual.[109]
Oral herpes, commonly referred to as mouth herpes, is a viral infection of the mouth and gums primarily by the Herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) but may also be due to the genital variant (HSV-2). It is also known as recurrent herpetic stomatitis or acute herpetic gingivostomatitis. The infection of the mouth typically causes small fluid-filled blisters known as vesicles on the roof of the mouth (palate), inside of the cheeks (buccal muscosa), tongue, gums and even the lips (herpes labialis). It may also occur on the skin around the mouth and extend to the nose and into the nasal cavity.

Worldwide rates of either HSV-1 or HSV-2 are between 60% and 95% in adults.[4] HSV-1 is usually acquired during childhood.[1] Rates of both increase as people age.[4] Rates of HSV-1 are between 70% and 80% in populations of low socioeconomic status and 40% to 60% in populations of improved socioeconomic status.[4] An estimated 536 million people worldwide (16% of the population) were infected with HSV-2 as of 2003 with greater rates among women and those in the developing world.[10] Most people with HSV-2 do not realize that they are infected.[1] The name is from Greek: ἕρπης herpēs which means "to creep", referring to spreading blisters.[11] The name does not refer to latency.[12]
How to get rid of a cold sore The herpes simplex virus that causes cold sores, often on people’s mouths, is highly contagious and a lifelong infection with no cure. Learn about how to treat cold sores when they appear, including anti-viral tablets and creams and home remedies, plus the life cycle of the virus, and how to prevent its spread. Read now
“You don’t want an infant delivered through infected birth canal or vulva because the infant can be infected,” Cullins explains. A neonatal herpes infection is a real risk because it can cause problems with brain development and eye and skin infections, or even be fatal. And since there is more risk for transmission from mother to baby during an initial outbreak than during a recurrent outbreak, the CDC stresses that it’s incredibly important for pregnant women to avoid contracting a new herpes infection.
But I was wrong, on so many levels. I did find love again. And I wasn’t alone — very far from it, in fact. Herpes is extremely common, with statistics showing that as many as one in six people ages 14 to 49 in the U.S. has herpes caused by the herpes simplex-2 virus (and since herpes simplex-1 virus also causes herpes, that number is likely even higher).
Herpes symptoms commonly show in or around the mouth. Sores may also occur at the back of the throat, causing the lymph nodes in the neck to swell. Mouth herpes is very common in children, as their parents or relatives can pass it on to them easily by a greeting or goodnight kiss. To get a better understanding of oral herpes, let us take a look at its causes.
Cullins explains that the first, or initial, outbreak is usually the worst, and “over time when you have recurrent episodes, you may not have systemic symptoms” or frequent symptoms. But everyone’s body and immune system reacts to the virus differently; while some people may never have many outbreaks, other people may be more chronically symptomatic. The National Institutes of Health indicate that infrequent outbreaks, around one or two per year, are not uncommon.

The herpes virus can be shed from an infected person even when there are no lesions visible. So caution is important. Some may wish to take the daily prophylactic oral drug Valtrex (an antiviral oral medication) to help cut down on shedding. Herpes can also be transmitted on any skin: fingers, lips, etc. Depending on sexual practices, herpes simplex can be transferred to genitals and or buttocks from the lips of someone who has fever blisters. Honesty between partners is very important so these issues can be discussed openly.

Some people experience very mild genital herpes symptoms or no symptoms at all. Frequently, people infected with the virus don't even know they have it. However, when it causes symptoms, it can be described as extremely painful. This is especially true for the first outbreak, which is often the worst. Outbreaks are described as aches or pains in or around the genital area or burning, pain, or difficulty urinating. Some people experience discharge from the vagina or penis.


In all cases, HSV is never removed from the body by the immune system. Following a primary infection, the virus enters the nerves at the site of primary infection, migrates to the cell body of the neuron, and becomes latent in the ganglion.[14] As a result of primary infection, the body produces antibodies to the particular type of HSV involved, preventing a subsequent infection of that type at a different site. In HSV-1-infected individuals, seroconversion after an oral infection prevents additional HSV-1 infections such as whitlow, genital herpes, and herpes of the eye. Prior HSV-1 seroconversion seems to reduce the symptoms of a later HSV-2 infection, although HSV-2 can still be contracted.
Herpes is contracted through direct contact with an active lesion or body fluid of an infected person.[31] Herpes transmission occurs between discordant partners; a person with a history of infection (HSV seropositive) can pass the virus to an HSV seronegative person. Herpes simplex virus 2 is typically contracted through direct skin-to-skin contact with an infected individual, but can also be contracted by exposure to infected saliva, semen, vaginal fluid, or the fluid from herpetic blisters.[32] To infect a new individual, HSV travels through tiny breaks in the skin or mucous membranes in the mouth or genital areas. Even microscopic abrasions on mucous membranes are sufficient to allow viral entry.

Primary orofacial herpes is readily identified by examination of persons with no previous history of lesions and contact with an individual with known HSV infection. The appearance and distribution of sores is typically presents as multiple, round, superficial oral ulcers, accompanied by acute gingivitis.[39] Adults with atypical presentation are more difficult to diagnose. Prodromal symptoms that occur before the appearance of herpetic lesions help differentiate HSV symptoms from the similar symptoms of other disorders, such as allergic stomatitis. When lesions do not appear inside the mouth, primary orofacial herpes is sometimes mistaken for impetigo, a bacterial infection. Common mouth ulcers (aphthous ulcer) also resemble intraoral herpes, but do not present a vesicular stage.[39]
Herpetic whitlow and herpes gladiatorum Herpes whitlow is a painful infection that typically affects the fingers or thumbs. On occasion, infection occurs on the toes or on the nail cuticle. Individuals who participate in contact sports such as wrestling, rugby, and football (soccer), sometimes acquire a condition caused by HSV-1 known as herpes gladiatorum, scrumpox, wrestler's herpes, or mat herpes, which presents as skin ulceration on the face, ears, and neck. Symptoms include fever, headache, sore throat, and swollen glands. It occasionally affects the eyes or eyelids.
A doctor will base a presumptive diagnosis on information provided by the patient and on the physical examination. The characteristic appearance of the herpes sores leaves little doubt about the diagnosis, so the typical appearance of the sores is key to the diagnosis. This appearance helps distinguish oral herpes from oral thrush, shingles, gonorrhea, and syphilis. In addition, chapped or sunburned lips can resemble oral herpes, but the tissue stain (Tzanck smear, see below) shows no virus-induced cell changes. Further testing is usually not necessary but is sometimes done.
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