According to Melissa King, a psychotherapist who runs a support group for women with herpes in New York City, when someone finds out they’ve gotten herpes from a partner, there’s often immediately an assumption that the partner knew that they had it and lied, or that they were cheating. “But the reality is that in a lot of cases, people don’t know that they have it,” King tells BuzzFeed.
There are two types of herpes simplex virus, type 1 (HSV-1) and type 2 (HSV-2).[1] HSV-1 more commonly causes infections around the mouth while HSV-2 more commonly causes genital infections.[2] They are transmitted by direct contact with body fluids or lesions of an infected individual.[1] Transmission may still occur when symptoms are not present.[1] Genital herpes is classified as a sexually transmitted infection.[1] It may be spread to an infant during childbirth.[1] After infection, the viruses are transported along sensory nerves to the nerve cell bodies, where they reside lifelong.[2] Causes of recurrence may include: decreased immune function, stress, and sunlight exposure.[2][3] Oral and genital herpes is usually diagnosed based on the presenting symptoms.[2] The diagnosis may be confirmed by viral culture or detecting herpes DNA in fluid from blisters.[1] Testing the blood for antibodies against the virus can confirm a previous infection but will be negative in new infections.[1]
Do everything possible to prevent spreading it to other people. The virus cannot live long when it is not in contact with the skin, so door handles and towels are not likely to spread it. Do not share your personal belongings, like toothbrushes and combs.  Wash your hands with soap and water often, and immediately if you touch the sores.  This is important so as to minimize the chance of getting ocular herpes (herpes infection of the eye) which is a serious infection. Be especially careful around infants because their immune systems may not be fully developed. Little children often express affection with sloppy wet kisses. This is a common way to spread the herpes virus within the family.
Herpes is transmitted via skin-to-skin contact, not through blood or saliva. Cullins explains that someone with HSV can be shedding the herpes virus without having an outbreak (known as asymptomatic virus shedding), and infect somebody that way. Suppressive antiviral medications, like acyclovir or valacyclovir, inhibit HSV replication, which decreases shedding but does not completely eliminate it, says Johnston.

There’s quite a variety, in short. And while genital herpes certainly can and does cause these signs of infection literally on the genitals (the penis or the vulva) it also can produce signs of infection nearby. Herpes sores on or between the buttocks are common (and sometimes slow to heal), as are lesions on the thigh. Herpes can bring about what feels like a tiny fissure around the anus, something easily confused with hemorrhoids. So remember: recurring signs and symptoms in the genital or anal area could well be herpes lesions.
Most people with genital herpes have no symptoms, have very mild symptoms that go unnoticed, or have symptoms but do not recognize them as a sign of infection. Genital herpes symptoms include blisters, sharp pain or burning feelings if urine flows over sores, an inability to urinate if severe swelling of sores blocks the urethra (tube from the bladder to outside the vagina), itching, open sores, and pain in the infected area.
After exposure to the virus, many people experience a so called primary infection which is typically associated with sores on or around the genitals or the anus. During a primary infection some people experience pain in the groins or a mild fever. Not all infected individuals experience a primary infection or show any symptoms at all, but they can still pass the disease on to other people.
The most common reason that people develop cold sores on their mouths is due to becoming infected with HSV-1. (4) HSV-1 usually causes cold sore breakouts around the lips or mouth, or what some people describe as “fever blisters.” Someone can become infected with HSV-1 starting as a child, and then the virus can lay dormant in the body until the immune system is weakened, at which point symptoms can surface.
Since genital herpes affects the private parts, people tend to think that the virus acts differently on men and women. However, the symptoms of genital herpes are very similar in males and females. The most important difference is that the virus can cause complications in pregnant women, who can pass the infection on to their babies. Other than that, there is no such thing as a male or female genital herpes virus, the infection is caused by the same virus in both sexes.
Dr. Charles "Pat" Davis, MD, PhD, is a board certified Emergency Medicine doctor who currently practices as a consultant and staff member for hospitals. He has a PhD in Microbiology (UT at Austin), and the MD (Univ. Texas Medical Branch, Galveston). He is a Clinical Professor (retired) in the Division of Emergency Medicine, UT Health Science Center at San Antonio, and has been the Chief of Emergency Medicine at UT Medical Branch and at UTHSCSA with over 250 publications.
Cullins explains that even if you’ve never had an outbreak, if you’ve been exposed to herpes, it lies dormant in your body. A blood test could reveal antibodies for HSV-1 and/or HSV-2, which means that you have been exposed to the infection in your past, you have been infected, and you have developed antibodies because your body has or is fighting the infection.

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HSV-1 and HSV-2 are transmitted by direct physical contact with a sore on an infected person. Facial or lip herpes is most often contracted by kissing someone with a cold sore. Genital herpes is most often contracted during sexual intercourse with a person who has an active genital sore. Genital herpes can also be contracted during or genital sex if a partner has labial herpes.


According to Melissa King, a psychotherapist who runs a support group for women with herpes in New York City, when someone finds out they’ve gotten herpes from a partner, there’s often immediately an assumption that the partner knew that they had it and lied, or that they were cheating. “But the reality is that in a lot of cases, people don’t know that they have it,” King tells BuzzFeed.
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